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It has been a week and 3 days since the night of the accident. The week has been the longest I have ever experienced and certainly the most emotional. I shed many tears but they don't compare to the amount shed by Jenny, Peter, and Tito Jose. Most of the time, they were being held in or they wouldn't come out, but I would always feel this churning in my stomach and would yearn to just cry out or even yell. All was supressed as to not bring agony into the eyes of my comrades. I can't stand seeing any of them in pain. Jenny's pain is very understandable though. I just hope that her sorrow will sudside as soon as possible. I cherish all the moments had during this week. They will always be remembered. I still have this heaviness in my chest that just does not want to go away. Physically, I am drained, and emotionally, I am drained. A lot has been taken out on me these past days but uncomparable to others who have had it worse.

The visitation and funeral went nicely, although the atmosphere was very sullen, sad, painful, and dismaying. At the visitation, many people showed up. A lot of Jason's friends especially. That day must have been the worse for me; to see Jason's coffin, closed; unable to see his face for the last time. Maybe it was for the better not to see him that way. When I first arrived at the chapel, many poeple were already at tears. I looked at the memory boards, and I saw the picture of Jason and me at Winter Ball. And I looked at all the otehr pictures surrounding it. It was jus agonizing and I began to weep. It took me a couple of hours to finally say my prayers for Tita Pacita and Jay. My tears streamed down my face when I was kneeling in front of Jay. I closed my eyes and prayed and thanked him for everything, for knowing him and for always being there for me. When I opened my eyes, the kneeler was drenched in my tears in one spot. Afterward, I went into the room on the side where Emma, Leslie and Kelly were. I just sat down and moved to a dark corner. My tears were uncontrollable now. Emma started and so did Leslie and Kelly. I couldn't stop. I don't even remember how I stopped, but I did. The mass was enlightening and sorrowful. Father's words were kind. The eulogy afterwards was heartwrenching.

The funeral was the day after. When I got there, many people were gathered in the front of the church, Our Lady Queen of the World. I went inside the at the entrance and signed in as one of Jason's pallbearers and recieved my flower. When the services started, the pallbearers were lead to the front pews. The sermon and mass was again enlightening and thoughtful. Profound love was the message throughout the whole service. The most unforgettable moments was when Pierre sang "Ave Maria". When he broke down in tears, my stomach sort of did a somersault; and when the priest blessed Jay and Tita Pacita with holy water and incents.

The burial followed the mass. This is when I carried Jason's pall. to the burial site. It was the hardest thing to do; to be carrying the coffin of a deceased friend. Father gave his last sermon and then they proceeded with burial rites. There were white doves handed to Peter and Tito Jose. It was a symbol of love and them having to let go; to let Jason and Tita Pacita go with God. It was a beautiful thing but their cry's were painful to listen to. The doves flew in a group above us. Afterward, they lowered Tita Pacita's coffin first. The air seemed to get heavy as she went lower into the earth. Then Jason was after. This was THE most excrutiating moment throughout the whole week. Everyone seemed to finally let go of themselves and break out in tears. To hear the cries of Peter and Tito Jose. The way they just let it all out. the way they "Let go" of themselves. I will never forget the sounds of it, never.

After the lowering of the coffins, people threw in flowers and gifts. I met up with a few people I ahven't seen in a while. I didn't really talk. Just said a quick hello to them. It was nice to see Ahmed there.

There was a huge reception at Jason's house. Can't really say much but It was nice seeing people so gleeful even for the occasion. I was just disgusted by the actions of a few people. Not about the bee thing..but the bathroom thing with Janiko and his friends. I thought that was straight up disrespect. Other than that, we had good times. All of us, friends, and family.